I ate cookies today:(

I am sad to have to admit that I ate cookies today. I went to the store and told myself that I wasn't going to buy cookies today and I did. I wound up telling myself I would only eat 2 and I ended up eating five more. I am disgusted. I was doing so well. I have made myself crave veggies. NO I am serious. about an hour after breakfast I started thinking about what I wanted for lunch, guestimating the caloric intake, and for the rest of the morning I could not stop thinking about the veggies in my sandwich it made my mouth water. Drooling over uncooked vegetables, now there's a new one. It was soo cool. I have also been putting Udo oil on my cereal and it actually makes me feel full. I have been eating GoLean Crunch and dribbling the oil on it. Let me tell the taste takes getting used to but the health benefits are killer. Now I'm going to retrain myself to crave berries instead of chocolate.

Another thing that I must admit is it is really hard changing my eating habits when no one else in the house is. Dave, my husband, likes meat and junk food and believes he needs to eat that crap to stay at a healthy weight. He is keeping his weight stable but he is far from healthy. He works hard all day and doesn't really eat until he gets home. It breaks my heart. I make him lunch almost everyday. It has been helping the problem is he insist on eating a fattening dinner. He grombles when I vegetarianize it, and he grumps when I say i won't buy him junk food. He has a job he can buy it. Every once in a while he acts really supportive other times he isn't very convincing.

Oh well it isn't a fight without opposition. My team just needs cannons full of love and gratitude and tanks full of will-power.

On a happy note I went down the tube slide at the park with my son yesterday. I usually tell myself that I can't do that because I am too heavy or thick and don't want the imbarassment. Those are imbarrassing thoughts. And it is imbarassing when your 2 year old tumbles down the slide because i wasn't with him. I'd rather be thought of as a fun loving, kick ass chunky mom than a fat ass bad mother. It was the best time at the park. I will never listen to inner critic again. I am going to do things becuase I want to reguardless of my weight. You have got to think thin to be thin.